Panic

Hi. It's Laura.

Sunday night I dreamed about swimming, running and biking. Monday night I dreamed about running, biking and swimming.

On Monday I swam. Today I biked. Tomorrow I will run.

And now I am driving myself crazy.

Monday morning after my swim, I had a complete panic attack. I am embarking on the largest race of my competitive career. So it is normal to be nervous but yesterday I worked myself into a complete tizzy. “What if I get a flat tire?” “I don't know how to change my tire.” “I have all the tools but have no idea what to do.” “What if I am so nervous during the swim that I can't breathe again?” “What if I miss my age group start?” “What if I can't finish the race?”

“How much fuel I am going to need to get me through?” “Do I need more?” “Do I need something else besides GU?” “What if I oversleep?” “The Husband had a cold last week, am I getting sick now too?” I will if I keep this up!

I am trying to put an end to my worry by solving those problems. If I keep this up I will make myself sick and eight months of training will go out the window.

Yesterday I called the local bike shop and found out they have a class on Sunday on how to change a flat tire. That's one problem solved.

I did some research about how much fuel you really need so I designed a plan. Then I stopped into one of the local running stores and talked to some of the people there about my plan. I was assured it was a good one and I won't need anything additional.

I sat down and reread the athlete's guide and studied the transition area. As it turns out, this is the exact area where we have been practicing my transition all these weeks. On Thursday, I am headed back down to the ocean to swim with my brother. I am hoping I am more relaxed. I think I will be. More practice in open water certainly cannot hurt. I have been bombarding myself with Emergen-C in order to fight anything that may be manifesting itself and I am allowing myself to nap and sleep in this week. As for oversleeping, I highly doubt I will be that relaxed that I will sleep deep enough to oversleep. [Editor’s note: The Dog definitely won’t sleep in so she is safe.]

I also spent part of yesterday reviewing my plan for next weekend: Friday is the expo and packet pickup, Saturday is bike check in and transition tour, Saturday night is dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants, Sunday is the race, Sunday afternoon is sleep time.

Just the fact that I am planning on finishing is a very good sign. In my visualizations of how I see race day going, I see me finishing but I also see me with nerves in the swim start corral.

I have read a couple of articles about how to stay calm the day before and the night before but not many about how to deal with the stress 13 days before. I am sure I am unnecessarily panicking (as opposed to the necessary panicking) but by doing so I have certainly covered areas of potential hazard. So at least it was constructive panic.

After I ran the 10K a couple of weeks ago and experienced some nerves, I found some articles about how to deal with race day stress. I reread them yesterday. The articles certainly helped. Wearing music to the start to drown out other people's stress is one of the best tips that I picked up. Have dinner early (changed our dinner reservation to 6pm). Get to the start early. Go through all your gear the day before (with Triathlon there is a lot of gear). Go to a movie. Sit with friends and relax as much as possible the night before. And get to bed at a reasonable hour. These are the tips that I picked up.

At this point, I need to trust that I am doing the work that will get me to the finish line. Also, just writing about the stress of the race and talking through some of it helps tremendously. I apologize to The Husband because this is pretty much all I am talking about.

Off I go, for my last long ride of training.

Play hard!

Laura